Since moving out of our London rental last year into our first home, life has been a constant period of adjusting. Throw into the mix getting a puppy & trying to get my coaching business off the ground, & it all gets quickly intense.
Don’t get me wrong. I really adore our pup, Frida. I’ve always wanted a dog since I can remember. Buying our home & having a small back garden meant that my wish could finally become a reality. However, like many will say, it doesn’t turn out quite how you imagined or expected. I imagined long walks in the countryside, woodlands, beaches. In nature together. The place & activity that I’ve turned to the most since leaving my corporate career.
Looking back on a year ago, I wish I had let myself off. Told myself that you’re adjusting to a lot so there’s no pressure to build the business or be who you think you need to be. Just focus on what’s in front of you. A lovely new home, cute & crazy pup & new surroundings to explore.
Instead, I thought there was something missing. I put it down to needing connection with other people & coaches. Eventually I decided to sign up to another coaching course (body-oriented coaching being the first). This time I was taking things back to the basics & learning the foundations. I learnt so many useful tools & techniques & made new connections like I wanted. But, I still felt like something was off.
I was telling myself that I was ready to do more with my coaching. Taking action too. It wasn’t until I was being coached & was being walked through a visualisation that it suddenly dawned on me. I don’t remember everything, but the part that really sticks out was a balloon. It drifted away from me up into the sky, far, far away. I’d let it go. When I came out of the exercise, I felt a huge relief. I didn’t need to hold on anymore. I could let go. Even if I was unsure of what exactly I was letting go of.
The hours & days that followed were a mixture between feeling more at ease & walking into the unknown again. The last time I went through something similar was when I let go of my career & my identity back in 2018. That time I felt a lot more intensity. Like a hundred times more. Unlike before, the “unknown” has a “known” quality about it. Yes, I feel like I’m back on unfamiliar territory. This time, however, I’ve kept my walking boots (& socks, plasters, foot rub!) ready.
Where Do I Need to Go Next?
My body is more intrepid, my mind quieter.
The landscape, although new, feels familiar.
I can see the horizon. It’s clear.
The sunshine is breaking through the clouds.
A light breeze is brushing up against my face.
Each foot takes to the uneven path with trust & gumption.
The direction is forward & ahead.
An invitation to the unknown is waiting.
For now, I remain put with no other intention but to take it all in.
This unfamiliar yet familiar place.
Where do I need to go next?
Nowhere but here.